Flaws

Every human on the planet has flaws. Obviously you already know that. I have weird flaws that people may not expect of me. I become extremely nervous and very quiet around people I am not entirely comfortable around. If you know me, you know that it is not my personality at all. I like to be loud and fun, but only with people I am comfortable around. I am also a very sensitive person but I am good at hiding it when I am in public. I become offended easily and seek other people's approval constantly. I know I should seek approval from myself before others, but my brain isn't wired that way and I hate it. Maybe it is low self-esteem, or maybe it is just because I like to please others, I am not really sure. Those really aren't the greatest qualities to have as an educator. I already know that my flaws force me to become overly emotional in certain situations and it causes me to over analyze everything I do. I really wish I didn't over think the way I perceive how people feel or think about me. I don't even know why I am writing this on here.... so let's move onto a more exciting topic.

I subbed 4th grade today. A few of my students from last year were in the class again. During the math lesson I was reviewing information on a test and I found myself having flashbacks of teaching my third graders from last year. I miss them. I miss laughing with them and joking around with students about Jesse's obsession with Selena Gomez. I miss my kindergarteners too... I want them back. I miss it all. I found myself in such a melancholy mood after class because I couldn't stop missing last year. I hate having to move to a new classroom each day with a new set of kids... I want to make a connection with students like I did last year during both rounds of my student teaching.

It is pretty amazing to see how much more mature students have become in such a short amount of time. One of my students used to be a little wild child and never wanted to do work, but now he is so calm and relaxed and offers to help when needed. I am so proud of him and the other students for growing up so much. I know they are going to become even more amazing as they continue through their journey.