Flaws

Every human on the planet has flaws. Obviously you already know that. I have weird flaws that people may not expect of me. I become extremely nervous and very quiet around people I am not entirely comfortable around. If you know me, you know that it is not my personality at all. I like to be loud and fun, but only with people I am comfortable around. I am also a very sensitive person but I am good at hiding it when I am in public. I become offended easily and seek other people's approval constantly. I know I should seek approval from myself before others, but my brain isn't wired that way and I hate it. Maybe it is low self-esteem, or maybe it is just because I like to please others, I am not really sure. Those really aren't the greatest qualities to have as an educator. I already know that my flaws force me to become overly emotional in certain situations and it causes me to over analyze everything I do. I really wish I didn't over think the way I perceive how people feel or think about me. I don't even know why I am writing this on here.... so let's move onto a more exciting topic.

I subbed 4th grade today. A few of my students from last year were in the class again. During the math lesson I was reviewing information on a test and I found myself having flashbacks of teaching my third graders from last year. I miss them. I miss laughing with them and joking around with students about Jesse's obsession with Selena Gomez. I miss my kindergarteners too... I want them back. I miss it all. I found myself in such a melancholy mood after class because I couldn't stop missing last year. I hate having to move to a new classroom each day with a new set of kids... I want to make a connection with students like I did last year during both rounds of my student teaching.

It is pretty amazing to see how much more mature students have become in such a short amount of time. One of my students used to be a little wild child and never wanted to do work, but now he is so calm and relaxed and offers to help when needed. I am so proud of him and the other students for growing up so much. I know they are going to become even more amazing as they continue through their journey.

Kindergarten

I subbed half day kinder for Letty today. I don't know the morning class as well as the afternoon class, but they are still a really cute bunch. I stayed for about a half hour in the afternoon and tested a few of them. Students had to count from number one and try to count as high as they could without messing up. Some students couldn't count very high while some others counted all the way to 100! It was so cute to see the kids defeat their worst counting fears! A little boy's face completely brightened when he realized he had actually counted to 100. I wanted to squeeze his little cheeks. So cute!

On Facebook the other night, I posted that I couldn't wait until the election is over so that people will stop posting rubbish on Facebook about their political views. My friend Kristine has now since been posting political nonsense on my page and has been trying to turn me into a political fanatic. It is pretty hilarious because I really am not a very political person at all. I have certain beliefs and views about things, but I don't really talk about them openly with people. Anyway, it was pretty funny because her class looked at me like I was crazy when Kristine made fun of me while I was in the classroom. I just love our relationship.

I saw my former adviser, Judy, today. I swear seeing her is like a breath of fresh air. She knows all about the system of education having been a teacher, administrator, and college professor throughout her career. Although she tells me facts like it is, she is one of the nicest and most caring people on the planet. Today after talking to her, she helped me to remember that eventually things will turn out the way I have always hoped, but for right now, I need to take life as it comes and enjoy the little things. I am so glad I saw her.

Oh, and I got my hair done today. Added some blonde and got a trim. It was finally time for a little change!

Waiting with a Happy Heart

In kindergarten we always tell impatient students to "wait with a happy heart" until it is time to move on. I regret saying that to every kindergarten student I have ever told that to. I am a hypocrite- I hate waiting for answers on things I am so desperately interested in.

I need answers, people!

In other news, I subbed for a 2nd grade class today. A student told me that her little sister sunk in the pool. I was too afraid to ask what exactly that meant because of the horror I saw in her eyes. That about sums up my day.

I will be at Solorio for the rest of the week, which I am quite excited about. I miss my teacher friends and favorite students.

5/6 Combo

I have a love hate relationship with subbing students while their teacher is still in the classroom. I feel like I step on toes if I am teaching while the teacher is still in there or like I am taking up space if she/he is teaching. At the same time, though, I like seeing how the teacher interacts with their students because it helps me get a feel for how I should work with students and what they are used to.

Today I subbed for a fifth grade/ sixth grade combo class. They are a fun group of kids. Every time I work with them math gets pretty crazy. I really have to gear up and put my thinking cap on for them. I drown with questions from both grade levels and math is totally not my thing. Thank goodness for answer keys because I can work backwards and figure out how to complete the problem.

After I was there for a little while today I took the students to the library. When I attended that school, the library was where the teacher's lounge currently is and now the library is where a first grade class used to be. I remember that class because in sixth grade one of my classmates, Steven, fell into the pool and drown right before the mailman found him and tried to save him. Steven's little brother was in that first grade classroom. I used to go in every day during lunch and help the teacher organize and grade. I think that year I realized that I wanted to help kids when I grew up. Up until a couple years ago I wanted to be a counselor, but with the budget cuts, I chose teaching (I know, like that is any better.). One day I hope to get my counseling credential and I know it has a lot to do with me wanting to help families like Steven's.

It is crazy the things I remember from that year. I had just moved to my town and switched schools. I didn't know who the boy in my class really was, but I remember seeing the pain in his mother's eyes after he died. I wrote a story about a magical kite who went up in the sky and didn't want anyone to be sad for him. When my classmate's mom read the story she brought me a pink guardian angel statue and gave me a hug. I still have that statue. I hope I can one day put it in my daughter's room as a sort of guardian angel.

PS

An event on Friday could possibly change my life and pick things up for me.

Please say prayers that things turn out for the best. If you don't pray, please send good vibes my way.

And before you ask, No I am not moving, getting engaged, getting married, or pregnant.

Thanks friends!

5th Grade

I subbed 5th grade today. They were less than cooperative. I had a kid who honestly had no idea how rude he was being and a girl who followed me around ALL day long. Dang girl, take a seat! I survived though, and tomorrow I am subbing at my old elementary school for a fifth/sixth grade combo class that I subbed for a few weeks ago. They were a fun class so I am excited to see them again.


I have been going to the gym lately and today I feel like I cannot move. I am pretty proud of myself because I haven't been this sore in a long time and usually it takes someone to force me to work out to become sore... so hopefully I will start to get fit again. We will see though. I hope I can get out of bed for work tomorrow morning.

A kid asked me if I was Taylor Swift today (I had curly hair today). I wasn't sure if I should have been flattered or embarrassed by that question.

Kindergarten

The truth of the matter is Letty has the cutest kinders ever this year. There really isn't much to say. Yes, they get quite chatty and are still most definitely little babies, but their comments make it all worth it. Today the new little boy in class started to cry right after we finished with journals. I felt a little strange because I was trying to figure out what was wrong with him but he just kept crying and starting at me and then he hugged me and cried some more. Poor baby. In the next ten minutes he was fine though, thank goodness.

Quote of the day:

(Student was eating flaming hot cheetos)
Student: Man, some women are hotter than cheetos!